Aug 31, 2014 – 2/3 OF THE WAY THERE

I am madly envious of people who love 3 day weekends. You know them (or may be them) - the ones who have tons of family activities lined up, who dread the end of the "mini vacation."  I hate 3 day weekends....and 4 day long fall break, and the 9 days off at Thanksgiving, the 22 days off at Christmas.....

It's not a vacation for me.  Even though school has only been in session a short time, my darling TK has found refuge and calmness in the routine and predictability of school.  Days off are often a powder keg, and I don't hold the detonator. The lack of structure and social interaction that school provides is keenly felt, and she looks to me to provide all of that and more.  It is a seemingly neverending spate of "what are we going to do, Mom?" "Will you play with me, Mom?"  "Mom, can we go to Justice/bowling/Chuck E Cheese?"  My mental answers are always the same..."I have no idea what we're going to do today but attempt to survive with as little drama as possible"; "I don't want to play with you but I will because I recognize you need my attention ---but I really DON'T WANT TO!"; "I would love to take you to any of those places but we can't afford to do it....disability pay doesn't stretch that far."

This is where I normally fall into a defensive speech about how much I love my daughter, etc --- but I presume you know that, and if you don't, my avowing it won't change your mind.

There are times when we are able to truly enjoy our days off, but there are many that are just challenging.  There are the ones like this weekend where my fibromyalgia is kicking my fanny and she is probably growing and thus extra tired and extra hungry and seemingly extra crabby and the budget won't stretch for fun diversions.  This one seemed to sneak up on me. We were just getting into the routine of school and suddenly that routine was disrupted. Hopefully I'll be better prepared for fall break.....at least it's a month away!

Maybe by then I'll have found a little more grace....heaven knows we'll need it!  You probably need some too, so be sure to give yourself some.