Tonight was the night. It was the night I patted my baby (my 12 year old, 5'6" baby) to sleep and cried. I cried because there are only 2 days of school left and summer break looms imminent and long. Trauma Kid (TK) doesn't want school to end either. School is comfort - it is routine and structure, social interaction in a controlled environment, supportive and safe adults (thank heavens!). She dreads the unknown of summer - how often will she see her friends; how will she fill her days; what other adult will be a sounding board/safe place?
I dread summer too. I know it will be better than last year, for she has matured tremendously this year, but I also know I am facing weeks of no structure, weeks of "what are we going to do today, Mom?", weeks of hoping we get through it with no meltdowns, no drama, no trauma. We do have some things planned. TK is trying out for the school volleyball team, and if she makes it that will occupy some of the latter part of summer. She is also going to spend a week with her grandparents. But there is still a looooong stretch of just us.
Transition is always challenging for our TKs. Transitions where people leave their lives are exceptionally challenging. Finding a safe person at school is a gift, and I am beyond grateful that TK has two at her school. But next year she will have different teachers, so her safe people, while still there, won't be part of her daily routine. So she will mourn their loss, and I will pray she can do that without feeling rejected.
The end of school is a rough time for our TKs (and therefore, for us). Hang tough, Trauma Mamas. I know too well the struggle of trying to balance keeping them busy with not overstimulating them to the point of a meltdown. Just remember, summer break is "only" 79 days long (at least here in TN).....
