I was smart enough to enjoy the fact that we had a drama free weekend. A blessing of TKs is they remind you to not take things for granted.
We had a close call today, but TK held it together. We went to see "Home" at the movies. The theater showed popcorn bags that had the characters from Home on them, but they didn't actually have any. I had told TK we would get one for her. This seemingly minor thing totally threw her for a loop. As she stomped into the theater and grabbed a seat, she said, "I don't even want to see this stupid movie anymore anyway." Then she put the popcorn down in the seat next to her so I couldn't sit there. I managed to stay in my regulated/smart trauma mama mode and quietly sat in the seat next the popcorn. About halfway through the movie, she moved the popcorn and sat next to me and put her head on my shoulder.
When we were getting ready for bed, I told her how grateful I was for a nice weekend with no drama. She said, "Mom, I hate it when we yell but sometimes I just have to." I didn't say anything....because really there was nothing to say.
I love those moments when I as wise enough to see and celebrate the progress. It probably sounds minor to anyone who doesn't live with a TK. But celebrating minor victories is the key to getting to major ones. So I will celebrate that TK managed to keep herself regulated amidst disappointment and anger. And I will celebrate my ability to stay regulated and not engage in the madness. I already know my response to her dysregulation is a tremendous driver in how things play out, so I celebrate when I am able to stay where I need to be - firmly rooted in love and compassion (or at least not engaging in arguing and devolving into a partner in the dysregulation).
So for this weekend, the roller coaster smoothed out. I'm sure it will yet again send us screaming through its heights and twists, but I'm enjoying the moment to catch my breath.
Grab some grace in those small victories, trauma mamas. Any victory, no matter how small, is a tribute to your faithfulness and commitment to your TK. And that is definitely worth celebrating.
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